I know i've mentioned it before, but i love women's circle nights.  The energy is always fantastic, and i always walk away having learned something. 

Tonight's topic: Creativity.  I still feel like i don't have much, but am thoroughly impressed by the creativity of the women in the group.  I learned tonight that i will never tell my future children, or ANYONE'S child, or another ADULT for that matter, that a dog can't be blue with orange dots and have 7 legs.  In my universe, i will keep plenty of room for a view of someone else's universe.     

And then a Healing Circle. 

Tonight i was placed in the Healing Circle...which involves being the focus of the group's well wishes and prayers, good vibes, etc., for the upcoming two weeks.  Its an amazing experience, and i wholeheartedly believe efforts such as these are beneficial to the healers as well as the healee.

The strange, but not strange, experience was this...The first thing said to me while in the circle was offered by La.  She told me i wasn't alone.  The strange part is that my underlying thoughts for the last month or so have revolved around the idea that i'm completely alone.  That even in rooms full of people i love, i'm alone.  The not strange part is that i would nearly expect La to "get it".  She's an amazing woman that i see as connected to all things.  (and La, if you're reading this, yes, i think that you get it, and are tuned into life in a much bigger way than most other humans...myself included). 

Her words really hit right to my root being.  I have to embrace that simple fact.  I am NOT alone.  Even when i'm physically in a room alone. 

It wasn't the only encouraging, healing, loving thing said to me this evening.  Na, Cy and Ki offered incredibly empowering thoughts: to trust myself, to know that i'm safe in the circle, to know that hard times do pass, to know that what i am at this very moment will carry me through all that brings me down. 

It is hard for me to shift focus to healing myself and meeting my own needs (or figuring out what those needs are).  But i will put forth the effort.  In return, I am sending out tremendous amounts of love for the ladies that are rooting for me in the coming weeks.  While I KNOW it's been said before, many, many times, the greatest things we can offer each other are support, peace, and love. 

Maybe i'll be brave enough next time to dig out and share some of the hidden poems, songs and random babblings that i've hidden at the bottom of the closet.  Or, maybe not.  Maybe i'll just write some new ones...

In the last 3 days, i've been given the most incredible, generous gifts.  It starts off with tremendous gratitude to Cy this week for offering to do some energy balancing/body work for me.  It was a perfect way to start off the week...balanced and in a better state of mind to move forward.  And then a wonderful gift from friends at UU, which was a gift beyond the gift itself.   I don't know if people know how much difference they make in my life.  Or maybe i am not quite sure how to tell them.  But in 3 days, so much has turned around. 

I am wondering if facing the issues head on and not denying them anymore has anything to do with it?  Karma playing games with me?  Holding out until i tell the truth? 

The truth is i am surrounded by love.  In fact, that is the only truth, ever.

Shanti.