I know I haven’t written anything in a while.  I appreciate all the supportive comments that I’ve received.  It means so much to know people care. 

Since last post, I’m doing better.  Mostly because I’ve got a great support system in place, repeating over and over that I have made the right decision.  Of course, they don’t come home to super sweet version of the ex, which makes it difficult to continue walking away.  But it is what it is.  I know I did the right thing for the right reasons.

So let’s get back to the meat of the meal.  As much as I felt like a non-buddhist during this painful process, I can now realize how much I was and AM Buddhist during all  processes.  I wish to do no one harm, and have been as supportive as I can to my former significant other during my move.  In return, regardless of his motivation, he has been more than kind to me.  So at least it’s a peaceful environment. 

I’m feeling less like I need to hide who I am now.  I have always been the first in line to admit my flaws, but now I want very much to show what I am proud of. 

I said to Mi at Sangha the other night how I had this moment of clarity.  As I got snuggly in my bed after a goodnight bow to Buddha, I realized…“Wow…I’m really doing this.  I AM Buddhist.  I am living Buddhism.”  Although I took my refuge vows in June, in this moment it sank in.  I think as a Buddhist does (at least a beginner Buddhist).  I process life events as how they relate to dharma.  This is my path, and I love being on it.

I’ve had an amazing weekend.  I reconnected with Ia.  Words will not describe the evening, so I will just say this visit came at the best time, and was nothing less than perfection.  I am still processing the beauty.  Then, I had a lovely 3 hour breakfast with the most sassy Me, who was one of my best bests in middle and high school.  She makes me laugh, and I love getting to know her as an adult.  Beautiful human being, that one.  I am so blessed to know the people I do.  Good karma.

I am going to get snuggly and prepare for another week of moving and working.  But that was my update.  Tomorrow is circle dancing with women’s circle (I’m terrified of this, but I’m doing it anyway).  Thursday night our Sangha travels to the Temple in Glen Spey, NY for dinner and meditation.  I can’t wait!

Peace and love to you all.