Soooo, yeah.  It’s been a bit since I last wrote anything down.  I’ve intended to, but I’ve been a bit distracted (understatement of the year).   This is my second to last night in the house I’ve lived in with my (ex)boyfriend for the past year.  Its sad to look around at all the empty spaces…but I’m pushing forward anyway.

What I am finding comfort in with the whole new apartment thing is that I can exist in a safe place.  Not that this was a dangerous place, but rather a safe place to exist as myself.  I don’t have to bury my Buddhas in the corner, or hide my sadhanas, or be super quiet while doing prostrations as not to shake the floor too much. 

It occurred to me that this is the first time in my life that expression of spiritual self has been so important, if not the most important thing.  Although Buddhism isn’t everything I am, it certainly helps me figure out who I want to be.  Having a vehicle as such I have been feeling forced to leave it parked in the garage. 

I will gladly say that I feel I’ve managed to be fairly kind and compassionate towards Ke.  No matter what he’s said that was unkind, I’ve resisted the urge to spit nails back at him.  I know he’s hurting too.  Knowing that particular truth makes it irrelevant that his behavior is why I decided to leave in the first place.  He doesn’t deserve to be punished on top of what is already happening. 

I haven’t been to the first two meditation classes in the new series that started.  This one is on anger.  I’m not so angry, so I suppose I will be ok dropping in next week.  Through this whole change, I feel like I’m able to pinpoint where my biggest challenge is on the path to enlightenment (at least for this lifetime).  Its attachment, as you may have guessed by my many discussions on the topic.  I need to get my mind around how I relate to the people and things in my life. 

I rejoice that I now have a space in which to do so. 

Peace to you all.

Oh, I’d like to share the photo of the housewarming gift from Mi.  She took this amazing photo herself and her hubby framed.  It’s a Dharma Wheel, which is the ceiling of the Kadampa World Peace Temple.  I cherish this gift…it is an amazing reminder of my friend and of the path.