I have been completely unmotivated to write anything.  Partially because i've been swept up and/or away in re-aquainting myself with my former siggy otherr.  We have been secretly (or not so secretly) seeing each other for a few months.  I've made no committment, mind you, but i'm most interested in seeing where this could go without the cloud of depression hanging over either of us.  In the meantime, we're having a blast.  Lots of joyful date-like eating going on...i've gained a good 20lbs.  

So things are good there.  I'm not a closeted Buddhist with him anymore, and i love that.  He's not on the same page as me, but he doesn't have any issues with my practice.  OF which, i do very little.  Sigh.  I am still doing some reading and meditation, but i've been...well, distracted.  But buddhist at heart, and always thinking about compassion, lovingkindness and the consequences of karma.  

Besides that, in the past few months, i have learned about true friendship.  What it is, and most certainly what it is not.  I learned a big lesson all over again...that you will certainly find out who your real friends are as soon as one of them doesn't get what they want from you.  If they disappear...not friend.  If they stick around...friend.  I wish no ill will on not friends, i'm just thankful for the perspective at a bargain price.  

Now, i'm preparing to make a 9:45PM trip to KMART for the last minute christmas insanity.  My dad is coming up tomorrow, and we do a little christmas together.  I'm looking forward to it, but boy, i could certainly do without the christmas madness. Even shopping and cooking for one person, its stressful and slighly missess the point.  But anyway, i shop.  

On that note, i'm going to sign off and say Happy Traditional Judeo-Christian holiday season to all of you, as well as a delightful New Year! 

May 2009 be filled with much peace, much love and many, many blessings for all!